25 July 2008

Today's lesson: Verdict, Slacking Class! All we did was simply to copy and paste and use own idea's for answering the problem statement, it was straight forward, not much thinking, just arguments!

Although I don't like the problem, but the group was alright, YEAR 2s ARE indeed YEAR 2s! Enjoying life, all about fun and jokes n non stop high... Anything can be said anything can be condemn, and everything can be laughed at! All we do was laughing over jokes after jokes... Hey at least it's better than a lot a lot of lesson, compared to sports business where all are year 2, these group are useful year 2 who did their work and are not slackers!

We had a very final joke, about wet and dry tissue, as john lim was asking for tissue, so Nadiah (year 2), she asked in such an innocent tone "wet or dry", then this atiqi, bo liao, say what WET WET WET! then the whole class thinks wrongly, then this jess (year 2) added in to the wet issue, say until we cannot take it, say what wet is better, dry not good! shitty sia, make the whole class laugh so hard... Make my throat so dry, then i say needed water, but when take out water bottle, NO WATER! then they laugh again, say this time want to wet throat also cannot, then jess say she got water, take hers AGAIN no water! Then finally Su Yuan she say she got, take out... Left a little, but we all dun care just take and drink, then some jokes again, i puke out all the water!!! wat on earth are these kids doing!!!

But it's been some time since i actually had a nice hard laugh! in the all year 2 group... interesting fellows!

The dinner was horrible... boring is all we could say!

Then as that Guest of Honor gives his speech we had ours, then they as usual were talking about FYP, THEN Jiawen say that wednesday team got 1 team too nervous, then someone cried... their faci (ann) told 'em... It's obvious that is edmund says de... cause he and ann quite close always got things to say and comment... so it's VERY vERY OBVIOUS!!! So i just listen lor...

It's really been a hard time at least for me... i had been so teary for so many days in this damn month! because of so many things that happened!

Lost:
- a 4 years relationship
- a coming close to 6 years of friendship
- time on fyp stuff
- confidence
- lost my own thoughts, never in control of myself
- My clear thinking mind, and kept making stupid mistakes
- lost my freedom to live up to own expectations....

what do i get?

Now is really my downhill time... i lost my interest my ability to stand up and be independent! simply because i am too affected and being too emotional in things.. it's time to wake up and be cold. The last thing i really want to do is lose my emotions, why am i so weak all of the sudden, tears was never on my list, i don't want to be generous on my water molecules in my body, but it just decided to come out anyway...

One word: stupid
- I never want to lose control over myself...

Because of all these happenings, i lose my confidence...i am really unwilling to open myself up again... temporary door closed

the day i open again would be the day i know i had fully stand up once again...
No more looking back, only moving forward
The day i say Hello again would be the day i know you as a new complete stranger
I'm confident that the day would come soon, and all these are just my dark clouds waiting to join the party of rain...