What CUTE devil?!?!??

Today like so half dead lessons, especially our level 5... maybe is that post FYP syndrome, yesterday's teams presentation like so much relax and maybe faster??? They are like so happy that it is over and most of them did not turn up today for class!

Had a relief faci, the module chair took the lesson, then anyhow do today's work! Haha! it's all about betting lor please sia, i don't even bet how i know what is what! so hack care anyhow do!!!
Last week grade was even funny, i left class half way cause after that FYP presentation half dead also, then wahid still gave me an A! so cool right! people leave class get partial and grade C!!!

Any way i think that SO self claim "cute" devil, i agree with the last word out of the 2 which is the devil and not that cute! got problem sia, cannot differentiate what is sunflower and what is daisy!! haha...

This is HER definition on SUNFLOWER, but it's not to me, it's daisy ( i suppose)...


This is then the SUNFLOWERS!

Garden Festival

No nO No, Shwu Yun is so EVIL! she is really the devil! ever since sam not in Singapore, she so violent sia! anyhow whack me de, then today we went to the garden festival, she very mean don't want to let me go take pictures, refused to let Audrey and me go back to the exhibitions, then she "hide" my camera in her bag, when i want to take from her, she grip my hand like criminal cannot run away!

EVIL woman!! simply because she want to go to the arcade to see see! then she in the shopping mall threaten me sia, say wat she will scream! then i tell her i also know how to scream! stupid... so idiotic sia the 2 of us! all thanks to her! haha

Best thing is that we took 6 hours in total to tour the both level for the garden festival, but then she hor, took 20 min to tour all... cause she just walk around, then say ok, see finish already want to go sit down liao

So So SO SO dunno wat to say, make me exasperated

this is the woman who is the devil now! (who can't really take pictures for me as well)


The best out of the many she took!

we want this car (sy heard one of the teacher telling her students - BUS?!??!）


one of the nicest (seeking Shangri - La)

One of the pieces that i like (African style, the flowers that are below are real nice and unique, they had a nice but cannot smell too long fragrance)

some of the orchids exhibition (too lazy to load more)

29 July 2008

Today:

Motor Learning, sianzation sia, i think my intrinsic feedback is asking to turn off, so BORING... just like a white plain wall with no furnishings...

This Stupid Shwu yun kept on bully me! any how beat me sia! she is mad already, every since 3rd human not around she so happy anyhow one! just whacked and more rubbish..

She just very happy with those shit bullyings!!

Yesterday:
Adventure lesson even better! cause that irritating person kanna "His DAY" - that is to say it's Tan KOK HUI! really his day

who ask him to personal attack me! orbi.. want to bully people also need to see the day and who are the team mates what!! now end up his wonderful arrows back to him! shoot some more lah, acting smart but loses in the end, cause he purposely say that whatever i say he dun understand only know my last 2 words: SELF DIRECTED, end up the class use this 2 word to shoot him back, say that they dun see his self directed in his presentation at all!!! LOL

practically everything he say, people will counter back esp. darcy and norman! lol... funny, entertainment day sia!!

Humans... tell me why..

I dunno why... BUT i seriously feel that i am very weak now!

Can anyone tell me why on earth I am always crying for this whole month? Ever since 13 July! i had been crying almost every week... i thought i can take it and i would be defeated at least by emotions in a relationship, but i proved myself super wrong! I DON'T know why BUT i WOULD ALLOW such a thing to happen to myself! To think i can take it? (initially, yes) but as time passes, i guess not!

i Feel that i am such a cry baby! am i really so weak now? WHY DO I ALLOW MY TEARS TO DROP SO EASILY?

I SERIOUSLY HATES IT! But it's just so 'natural' that i just shed tears! i really want to pick myself up, but i couldn't every time i thought i was ready to move on, but i fell back... EVERY TIME HE SAY HI, i got nothing to say... then he ask me, why do i feel that i have become a stranger to u? every since i told u i got girlfriend? what do HE expect me to say? Say oh i feel so happy for u, to have found some one that u LIKE or LOVE some one whom u think she is prettier and better natured than me? Are u expecting me to say that?

Right now we are none other than a stranger... do u really know me that well or rather should be i questioning myself! DO I REALLY KNOW MYSELF WELL ENOUGH? I'm seriously sick of such thoughts! I NEVER nEVER NEVEr EXPECTED myself to cry so much! i always knew that all these are silly, but no matter how silly, they had been part of me for so long! 4 years! 6 YEARS of FRIENDSHIP! do u really understand how it feels like?

Do i seems SO OKAY TO YOU?

I really feels that i am such an A** to thing to i trust all these things that you told me! I told myself hundred and one times that i will not be so committed, but it's all lies that i made up to myself!

To think i had been crazy to really trust u so many years that i had so little true friends cause i dun see the need to having so many true friends, i though that no matter how condemn my situations were, i knew you would be there, but it's all rubbish, right now i realized how foolish i had been..

Although i told myself that i am fortunate that i had my 2 other buddy, SY & Sam... but you seriously had done too much to me...

I HATE THE LIES THAT U SPUN!

RIGHT NOW:

I wouldn't blame u, i will blame myself for being foolish! i blame myself for allowing u, then, to make the promise that we will sure be very happy after 21 of age! i don't blame u, i blame myself! I am not the Right person as you thinks so... I am now the stranger to u as well... it's not that i don't wish to talk to you, but you are very blunt in the way you treat me... that's marks the end, i seriously WILL consider putting my emotions and tears away... it's not worth it... everything is not worth it... no matter how long or how short or even how vulnerable this relations were... I guess we both have ended our long lost fate...

Thanks for teaching me HOW TO STAND ON MY OWN! I will remember it!

Sorry Pals (SY & Sam.) for always creating such nuisances for the both of you, it's irritating i know, i am sorry for such troubles caused...

what a sunday!

We damn smart today, all wake up super early just to send samuel (3rd human, still not added in here) off to Beijing...

Inital Planning of the day:
- Morning: time when waked up till 9++ we will send samuel off
- after that go for breakfast
- Take a bus back to Hougang for a swim
- Lunch
- decide after that

Actual Happening
- Morning: thanks i was LATE! (probably one of those time when i can be caught late)
- Off u go Sam
- went to buy breakfast instead at the Terminal 2 Crystal Jade Bakery
- took bus to hougang for the swim
- OVERSHOT the planned bus stop! (my fault again, cause i was too engross in talking)
- Walked to the pool ON FOOT
- Went there, drizzle came, nvm, wanted to go ahead swimming
- SAW & HEARD that an event is there, sooo we decided to go back my house to rest
- END UP
- sharing a pack of noodles, watch some TV program
- FELL DEAD on the bed instead!!!! (to catch up the lost sleep)
- WAKE UP to past NOON
- went opposite and roam...
- ATE noodles again (Ajisen Noodles, didn't complete my meal again)
- DID NOTHING

What a Sunday!! so fast going to MONDAY again! see that monday bluessss....

25 July 2008

Today's lesson: Verdict, Slacking Class! All we did was simply to copy and paste and use own idea's for answering the problem statement, it was straight forward, not much thinking, just arguments!

Although I don't like the problem, but the group was alright, YEAR 2s ARE indeed YEAR 2s! Enjoying life, all about fun and jokes n non stop high... Anything can be said anything can be condemn, and everything can be laughed at! All we do was laughing over jokes after jokes... Hey at least it's better than a lot a lot of lesson, compared to sports business where all are year 2, these group are useful year 2 who did their work and are not slackers!

We had a very final joke, about wet and dry tissue, as john lim was asking for tissue, so Nadiah (year 2), she asked in such an innocent tone "wet or dry", then this atiqi, bo liao, say what WET WET WET! then the whole class thinks wrongly, then this jess (year 2) added in to the wet issue, say until we cannot take it, say what wet is better, dry not good! shitty sia, make the whole class laugh so hard... Make my throat so dry, then i say needed water, but when take out water bottle, NO WATER! then they laugh again, say this time want to wet throat also cannot, then jess say she got water, take hers AGAIN no water! Then finally Su Yuan she say she got, take out... Left a little, but we all dun care just take and drink, then some jokes again, i puke out all the water!!! wat on earth are these kids doing!!!

But it's been some time since i actually had a nice hard laugh! in the all year 2 group... interesting fellows!

The dinner was horrible... boring is all we could say!

Then as that Guest of Honor gives his speech we had ours, then they as usual were talking about FYP, THEN Jiawen say that wednesday team got 1 team too nervous, then someone cried... their faci (ann) told 'em... It's obvious that is edmund says de... cause he and ann quite close always got things to say and comment... so it's VERY vERY OBVIOUS!!! So i just listen lor...

It's really been a hard time at least for me... i had been so teary for so many days in this damn month! because of so many things that happened!

Lost:
- a 4 years relationship
- a coming close to 6 years of friendship
- time on fyp stuff
- confidence
- lost my own thoughts, never in control of myself
- My clear thinking mind, and kept making stupid mistakes
- lost my freedom to live up to own expectations....

what do i get?

Now is really my downhill time... i lost my interest my ability to stand up and be independent! simply because i am too affected and being too emotional in things.. it's time to wake up and be cold. The last thing i really want to do is lose my emotions, why am i so weak all of the sudden, tears was never on my list, i don't want to be generous on my water molecules in my body, but it just decided to come out anyway...

One word: stupid
- I never want to lose control over myself...

Because of all these happenings, i lose my confidence...i am really unwilling to open myself up again... temporary door closed

the day i open again would be the day i know i had fully stand up once again...
No more looking back, only moving forward
The day i say Hello again would be the day i know you as a new complete stranger
I'm confident that the day would come soon, and all these are just my dark clouds waiting to join the party of rain...

Humans

HUMANS

1. One Small Human
2. Second Medium Human
3. Third BIG Human